Mission Statement

I have mission statements on the brain. Our local doula group, Cedar Valley Doula Group, was just formed back in January and we've been working on trying to develop a mission statement. I seem to be at a loss for ideas, however, I've decided that the Baby has a mission statement of her own that I'm nearly certain goes something like this...

"I strive to harness the power of my inner baby and make you question, at least once a day, whether you ever want to ovulate again. My daily shenanigans will begin promptly at 5 am and I will employ a variety of tactics to ensure that your day is off to a fantastic start. These tactics include, but are not limited to, shrieking like a teradactyl, pulling your hair, using you as my personal jungle gym, repeatedly kicking you in the gut and clawing at your face. When I am out in public I will make sure that at least one person looks at you and lavishes scorn and incompetence upon you, as I utilize a combination of the above tactics. I vow when you set me down in a room, I will immediately crawl toward whatever is most dangerous, destructive and disgusting, especially if you have surrounded me with toys and safe things to keep me occupied. And just when you are at your breaking point and contemplating driving off of a cliff, I will look up at you and melt your heart by sweetly saying 'mama.'"